Date: 19th April 2007 at 8:28pm
Written by:

Our fantastic rumour column is back and I guarantee that some of the names will dazzle you.

I must say that browsing through recent news and gossips, it became clear that the tabloids were in war: they all want to be the first to guess who injury-prone Louis Saha will be replaced by? I’d neglect the usual names now (Huntelaar, Torres, Villa) if you forgive me.

First, it will be a usual name of course… but famously credible Daily Mail claims Barcelona won’t block a move for him. Well, if they do not need Saviola, why would they want Guddy? But why would United want him? And why did Barcelona sign him in the first place?

Unnerving mysteries as they are, I prefer to read these stories to hearing about Cristiano Lucarelli joining Fergie’s army. The 31-year-old Italian has been offered to United for 6 million, according to Italian sources – now really, Italy are world champions and all, but are they serious he’s worth such an amount? With Tevez surely leaving at the end of the season, I suggest Mr. Egghead of West Ham should go after Lucarelli. He would be a hit in the Championship.

Perhaps I read the Daily Mail too much (it’s not meant to be advertising) but I couldn’t help noticing that the Michael Owen-story keeps popping up. The Scouser, who in a moment of extreme madness, left for Madrid has been alerted to our reported interest. Now, replacing Saha with Owen would not exactly be the transfer coup of the century – no jockey would swap a once-derby winning but now cripple horse for a once-derby winning but now cripple horse.

And, finally, forget Saha, forget strikers, forget England: we are after Juventus’ 20-year-old defender Domenico Cristico. Who? Well, I’ve never heard of him but of course the tabloids reckon Chelsea are likely to rival us for his signature. No surprises there…