Date: 26th August 2009 at 11:58pm
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Oh god. Suddenly, after millions of pounds were spent on him, Joleon Lescott’s status rocketed upwards from being a good, reliable defender to being the best defender in the Premier League!

‘It’s been a long and difficult process but I feel Joleon is the best centre-half in the Premier League and will be for many years to come.

‘He’s key to what we are trying to achieve. I’ve been really keen to bring him here because the key as a manager is being able to work with your targets and now it’s just a case of integrating him into the team,’
said Mark Hughes, sadly affected by the City disease of delusion.

The best centre-half? Yes, if we don’t count Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic or even John Terry, Jamie Carragher, Martin Skrtel… And there’s a case for Alex and Carvalho as well. But of course now every player they sign is suddenly the best in the league, simply because money was thrown at them. Why that made them so much better, I really don’t know.